… It leads to disappointment.
I have always viewed myself as a pretty positive, upbeat person. My coping mechanism for anything negative that happens in my life is to just sweep it under the rug and pretend like it’s not a big deal. I want to feel happy and content all the time, and I hate when my current circumstances make me feel otherwise.
But God doesn’t want me to just sweep my problems under the rug and pretend I am strong enough to handle life on my own. He wants me to break down, feel the weight on my shoulders, get up on my feet and give that weight to him. He wants me to wholeheartedly depend on His strength and not my own.
The beauty of sanctification is that God is fervently after our hearts. He wants us to get to that breaking point out of His love so He can show us something better. Christ’s power is perfected in our weaknesses. How would I ever realize my need for God if I am just coasting through life on my own?
This is exactly what I have been learning recently.
The part of me that wants to pretend I am fine all the time would hate to admit that- I have gone through a season of disappointment these past few months.
People I used to brag about ended up stabbing me in the back, relationships/friendships I thought would last didn’t, and future plans I had been waiting for ended up falling through.
And it can be really disappointing.
But through it- I have learned how to forgive, I have learned how to trust God’s timing, and I have learned how to take God with me into the fire instead of asking for help when I am already suffocating in it.
And I still have so much more room to grow.
Thank God for that though. I never want to be fully comfortable. I want to yearn to be more like Christ. I want to model His character more and more until I can face him one day and hear the words, “well done good and faithful servant.”
So a new year has just started, and I am about to go back to college and start a new semester.
While I want to believe that next semester and next year will be perfect- I know there will be a new set of challenges waiting for me. But the beautiful truth is that God is already there. He has walked before me so I don’t have to go through life on my own.
A verse I cling to is “Peace is what I leave with you; it is my own peace that I give you. I do not give it as the world does. Do not be worried and upset; do not be afraid.” ~ John 14:27
How COOL is it that God gives us a supernatural peace- a peace so much greater than the world has to offer. Thank GOODNESS, am I right?!
While disappointing situations are inevitable- I am not going to let myself sit in that place.
Just because things aren't happening the way I planned, doesn't mean they aren't happening the way they should.
God is in control. He has a greater plan. & He knows a heck of a lot more than I do. I can find joy, confidence, and peace in that truth.
2019: More of Jesus, Less of me.
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